Caught Before, During and After Action
These criminals (or should I say, Criminals Wannabes) should buy How To Commit Crime For Dummies before attempting one.
Cheers.
Tennessee:
A man successfully broke into a bank after hours
and stole the bank’s video camera. While it was
recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape
recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he
didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the
camera.)
Louisiana:
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled out a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the
cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on
the counter. The total amount of cash he got from
the drawer? Fifteen dollars. If someone points a
gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
committed?
New Jersey:
A Newark woman reporting her car as stolen
mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The
policeman taking the report called the phone and
told the guy that answered that he had read the ad
in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They
arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.
Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.
He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block
through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block
bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The
whole event was caught on videotape.
New York:
As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a
man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called
911 immediately, and the woman was able to give
the police a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police had apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the cruiser and drove
back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told, "Stand there for a positive ID." To
this instruction the man replied, "Yes Officer, that’s
her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from."
Washington:
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
motorhome parked on a Seattle street, he got
much more than he had bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up
next to a motorhome near spilled sewage. A police
spokesperson said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motorhome’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
Michigan:
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a
man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti,
Michigan, at 7:50 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
because he said he couldn’t open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
Kentucky:
Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by
running a chain from the machine to the bumper of
their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel
off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off
their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove
home–. with the chain still attached to the
machine– with their bumper still attached to the
chain– with their vehicle’s license plate still
attached to the bumper.
